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[30 Oct 2005|11:55pm]
just to let the world know...i no longer work at bed bath abd beyond. i quit 2 weeks ago cause i was fed up. i now work for i-sold it. people bring things in they wish to sell and i put it on ebay, take photos, edit, and ship. easy easy.
jiggle the handle!!

[10 Oct 2005|05:30pm]
I GOT ACCEPTED TO UCF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant fail my ap math. im so scared.
1 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

ragabusha [06 Oct 2005|10:06pm]
-i have absolutely no idea as to why he's affected me to the point where my brain and heart do not comply. FOUR YEARS. out of all the boys at my school, the new girl gets the attention of the one boy who i want to be off limits. grrr.

-anyways, ive been socializing more. i actually feel like a girl
-me and you and everyone we know comes out tuesday :)
-my hair makes me feel pretty
-i have to think of a quote for the yearbook. i was thinking "its all happening"
-thumbsucker was alright
-jared comes home tomorrow :) :) :)
-i want to start looking for a new job. im exhausted from bed bath and beyond.
-i never want to take methadone or heroin
-my report card will look like this 6 A's and 1 D in AP Statistics. im very happy. my goal is to not fail.
3 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

[04 Oct 2005|12:34am]
my hair fucking rocks
3 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

[02 Oct 2005|11:57am]
last night went from blah, to awesome, to awesome, to scary

but i loved it
jiggle the handle!!

[28 Sep 2005|04:17pm]
yes! both thumbsucker and everything is illuminated hits the boca theatre friday.
jiggle the handle!!

take me or at least throw me a fucking bone [17 Sep 2005|10:28pm]
i want to be old already. i dont want this in between shit. the peak of my existence was at 14. im this gothic girl incognito. i hate you. i hate the world. i hate my life. i hate public places. i hate you and you and you and you and you. and everyone thats reading this. i hate all of you. you all have contributed to my fucked up perception of everything.
2 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

why dont extraordinary machine download? [15 Sep 2005|10:30pm]
i dreamt the exact dream ive been aching for. you came in the store for just a second, i acted in a casual fashion (a lady never reveals her cards), then you vanished. as quick as it was, it was real enough to keep you in memory.
1 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

[13 Sep 2005|07:53pm]
who got two smiths full length cassettes? i did. thats right
2 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

the saddest person [10 Sep 2005|10:53pm]
what do you call a date where there is no talking involved?

a lonely one

i took myself out on one tonight. i adandoned my family at a restaurant and decided to feel the reality of my existence. i say this...get dressed up and go to a movie theatre late at night by yourself. see a movie. then drive (by yourself) to an ice cream establishment and order yourself something then sit outside at a table. all the while you are alone. if you feel uncomfortable at any moment during the night because no one is with you, then you'll be fine and you probably have a life. if you're like me and feels like its normal and have no problem with it, then im sorry to tell you that you've excepted being a loner.

i have an idea. i want to go up to adults and give them a notepad and pen and ask them to write the one thing they wish they would of done as a teenager. i want to see how many i can accomplish for them. i want to do a documentary so bad but i have no camera.
4 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

and another one bites the dust [05 Sep 2005|06:52pm]
i really do believe music is like a drug. the soundtrack of my life is a drug. death cab for cutie's brothers on a hotel bed is a drug. i replay that song over and over again on my way home from work at 11 o'clock at night and in the mornings while i pick up lillian and while im writing this. in those moments i feel almost out of touch from reality. i can say anything because couraged has been gained and im more vulnerable. i had this worthless conversation with this so called friend of mine. i said "we are the underdogs brian, we need to stick together. how can you choose to care for someone who you have no future with, then to not care about someone who you do." I went along to say "sulk, be sad, be depressed, life sucks, people suck, the world sucks. the world is a letdown." I never thought i would say that to him. then i said goodbye...forever. i then proceeded to block him from my buddy list. tomorrow in school i will not talk to him because he is a waste of my time. as im writing this i realize i must be a waste of everyones time since no one pays any interest in me as a person. the truth comes out. great music does that to me. i know where i stand .can you say that for yourself? you wont understand this, but its not intended to be comprehended by anyone but me. i think this is my first real journal entry. i will be one of those women who has a job that takes up all her time. that is so she doesnt kill herself.
1 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

[03 Sep 2005|12:24am]
i go around to the kids in my school preaching to stay abstinate because we are incredibly too young for such an act, but i have to confess that i daydream at least twice a day screwing the kid next to me.
1 flushed| jiggle the handle!!

buddhism [14 Jun 2005|12:13pm]
Dukkha- existence is suffering
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